Feeling stuck with your client?
I’m hearing a lot right now from supervisees who are feeling stuck with their clients. So why now and what can you do?
Here are some tips for you to get The Work moving again.
I’m writing my blog at the beginning of December 2021 at the end of what has been another difficult year for so many. Only today I heard from another person I know who has contracted Covid having had 3 vaccinations. Countries are locking down, there is more uncertainty around.
What’s out there in the ether must permeate into our work, The Work. This uncertainty must be at least part of the reason why so many clients and their therapists are feeling stuck.
I’ve capitalised The Work in recognition of Byron Katie. If you haven’t seen this amazing therapist at work you should catch her on YouTube or on her own website www.thework.com. Byron’s Work is a mixture of CFT (Compassion Focused Therapy), CBT and Relational therapy. She weaves in and out seamlessly helping clients who are well and truly stuck. I think her domain name is just perfect. Therapy is Work.
Stephen Johnson had this same idea. His book ‘Characterological Transformation’ is subtitled ‘The Hard Work Miracle’.
What both Katie and Johnson have in common is conveying the idea that Therapy is Work. It’s Work for the client and Work for the therapist too.
I am suggesting that now at the end of one year and the beginning of another, with a break imminent for you to seize the opportunity to have a review of The Work (your work) with your client.
I love reviewing. Why? Because it is the perfect antidote to being stuck. It focuses the minds of both therapist and client on where The Work is now and where it’s heading. It can often facilitate a shift in the dynamics and create momentum.
Here are 10 short, simple open questions which I love to use in reviews:
How are we doing in our work together?
What’s changed for you since we started?
What hasn’t changed for you?
What’s been good in our work?
In what way has it been good?
What hasn’t worked?
In what way has it not worked?
Why do you think it hasn’t worked?
Who do you think is responsible for this?
What haven’t we talked about in our work which we should be talking about?
If you take even a very simple wellbeing rating at the outset of The Work like a simple 1 to 10 wellbeing score, a review is a great time to take another and compare. Clients are often very surprised at how much their rating has shifted. This can affirm, validate The Work.
And if you don’t use this tool it’s something really easy and useful to introduce as part of your assessment or intake process.
So review, review review. Let me know if it works, if it facilitates a shift. If it does I’d love to hear from you with some real life examples.
Happy Christmas and a very Happy New Year.
Allan
Do you resonate with this topic?
If so, get in touch to see how I can help you today.